Mike and Gary once braved Grizzly country camping outside Yellowstone National Park. While throwing steaks on the grill, Mike’s dog Juno began growling at something in the darkness just beyond the fire light. In quiet panic, they launched everything into the camper and hightailed it back to civilization.

Mike singlehandedly shut down the 1982 Northwestern University Homecoming Parade. As the crowd went completely nuts over his fraternity’s (potentially) prize winning live-action float, he inadvertently slammed the brakes of the tow car, sending the entire production crashing to the pavement.

When Gary was 12 he asked his mother if he could legally change his name to ‘Brian Dempsy’. Really.

At 2am in a NYC Burger King, Mike once witnessed a homeless man walk up to the salad bar and fill up his trench coat pockets with potato salad.

Gary once suffered through what he called “the sourest grapefruit ever”, only to have his grandmother point out that he was actually eating a huge lemon.

At age 14, Mike hopped the train from New Jersey to Chinatown to load up on M-80’s to ceremoniously blow up his model car collection.

Gary was banned from the last prom in his junior high school’s existence for throwing a rag into the shop class disc sander, thus shorting out the West wing of the school.

Due to the stories told by their aunt during family visits to Boston, Mike and Gary lived in fear of a mythical, beer-thirsty creature that roamed the neighborhood known as the Kongongamoose. They still believe it’s out there…

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